


And Cas Went to Work at Starbucks

by using_this_name



Series: Crackity Crack [62]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Crack, Drabble, Gabriel being an Ass, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-14
Updated: 2013-09-14
Packaged: 2017-12-26 14:19:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/966934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/using_this_name/pseuds/using_this_name
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel is a terrible barista. Just.  Really bad at it.  And that's compared to Cas, who most of the customers think is some sort of mafia-sex-offender-accountant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Cas Went to Work at Starbucks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [addictcas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/addictcas/gifts).



**Sam:**  *as Gabriel enters* Hi Gabe.

 **Gabriel:**  Hey, Tall Dark AmeriSamo.

*they stare dopily at each other*

 **Dean:**  Ahem. 

*they look guiltily at Dean*

 **Dean:**  Right. Shall we begin? Gabriel, though it pains me to say this, we here at  _Serving People, Brewing Things: A Family Business_  see no alternative but to terminate your employment.

 **Gabriel:**  What?

 **Dean:**  I’m sorry, but it’s true.

 **Gabriel:**  But why?

 **Dean:**  To be honest, it’s mostly because you are the worst barista I have ever met. 

*flashback*

 **Gabriel:**  Chocolate caramel latte with whipped cream and sprinkles for Lucifer?

 **Nick:**  I ordered a small black coffee. And my name is Nick.

 **Gabriel:**  Don’t worry. You’ll like this better, Lucy. Here, have a lollipop too.

*end flashback*

 **Gabriel:**  What? That guy needed to lighten up. He’s like the freakin’ devil. You shouldn’t give the devil black coffee. It’s just asking for trouble.

 **Dean:**  Okay, what about…

*flashback*

 **Garth:**  Hello? I’ve been standing here for like, five minutes. Are you going to take my order?

 **Gabriel:**  Geez! Make some noise, dude. Some of us can’t see over the counter without being on tip toes. No need to be a fucking ninja.

*end flashback*

 **Gabriel:**  That’s heightist! You can’t fire me for that!

 **Dean:**  We got you a stool! You never use it!

 **Gabriel:**  Well I have to keep it in the back, don’t I? How else can I reach Irish Breakfast Sam’s secret candy stash?

 **Dean:**  Sam has a secret candy stash?!?

 **Sam and Gabriel:**  NO!

 **Gabriel:**  Maybe.

 **Sam:**  Dude. I have to keep it secret or you’d eat it all.

 **Dean:**  Fair. But regardless, there was also that time…

*flashback*

 **Crowley:**  Is there salt in my tea?!?

 **Gabriel:**  Yup! Maybe you should be nicer to Meg, bitch!

*end flashback*

 **Gabriel:**  Okay, fine. You said it was only  _mostly_  that I was a terrible barista?

 **Dean:**  Oh. Yeah. Also, Sam wants to bang you, and he can’t if he’s your boss, so…

 **Sam:**  Yeah. But the candy shop next door?  _Chuck’s Caramels and Karma_? They have an opening. I wrote you a really nice recommendation, and Chuck’s assistant Becky has a crush on me, so…

 **Gabriel:**  Fine, Grande Salted Caramel Samcha. As long as I’m the only one getting in your pants.

 **Sam:**  Done!

 **Dean:**  You know we aren’t a Starbucks, right? Stop with the stupid size labels.

 **Gabriel:**  One: you just fired me. So bite me. Two: traditional size labels do not fit my Venti Pumpkin Spice Samme. Double Whip.

 **Sam:**  You know that’s right.  So, wanna go out tonight?

 **Gabriel:**  Sure. I get off work at…well, apparently, right now.

 **Sam:**  Yeah! I have one more thing I have to do, but then maybe we could go out for coffee?

…

 **Sam:**  … Or something?

 **Gabriel:**  Or something.

 **Sam:**  Cool. Can you send in Castiel on your way out?

*Gabriel leaves. Castiel enters*

 **Sam:**  Shall we begin? Castiel, though it pains me to say this, we here at  _Serving People, Brewing Things: A Family Business_  see no alternative but to terminate your employment…

**Epilogue:**

*flashback*

 **Garth:** I’d like a medium iced tea, five Splendas.

 **Cas:**  …

 **Garth:** Hello?  I said I wanted a medium iced tea?

 **Cas:**  …

 **Garth:**  Dude.  The staring is really creepy.  Could you stop?

 **Cas:**  …

 **Garth:** Or, like, blink?

 **Cas:**  …

 **Garth:**  Are you out of iced tea?  ’Cause I can get something else.

 **Cas:**  …

 **Garth:**  You know what, never mind.  I’m gonna go to the Starbucks across the street.  Nice trench coat.  Its very ‘sex offender’.

*end flashback*

 **Cas:**  I don’t understand.  Do you want me to remove the trench coat?

**Author's Note:**

> If you want updates as they happen, follow me on tumblr, where I am going by using-this-name (with dashes instead of underscores).
> 
> I would also LOVE any prompts that you would like to send me on tumblr. Any pairing, or any trope!


End file.
